Not my rock, not my Dad..
Bone Cancer, really??
The shoulders I leaned on, the words of advice I counted on, what was I going to do?
I’m ashamed of my immediate thoughts, selfish and impassionate is how it sounds to me now. But you must understand, my father hung the moon in this youngest daughter of 4 girls’ heart and head. I did everything with my father; fished, built additions on to our 2-bedroom house while we lived in it with 4 girls sharing one-bedroom, roofed Mom’s dress shop we built, discussed the storms while out on the porch as he explained the different types of clouds and what they meant, and I LOVED IT and hung on every word.
This was my daddy, and I was the one helping him with his projects when all the while I was learning more than I ever could have ever helped him.
The uncertainty of what was coming, how to fight it, could we fight it, where to find the answers. I was taught to sit back and analyze the situation and then fix it or walk away. In this situation I couldn’t do either of those things, so the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. I wanted to help my Dad with the fight, console my Mom that all would be ok even though I didn’t know and all the while I wanted to go to sleep and wake up because this was a dream. It had to be.
You live your life knowing that diseases, accidents, tragedy strikes daily, but always thinking it happens to others, not you. Or praying and hoping that is the case and until it hits home, you never know how you will truly react.
I went off alone and had my “why MY dad” and gut-wrenching cry and then prayed.
OK, so now it was my turn, to be the shoulders, to do the things he taught me so well how to do and doing my best to not make it any big deal while it was heartbreaking for him, my mom and myself.
Could I do it? Could I be strong enough and not break down in front of Mom & Dad? Could I work full time and still give quality time to my husband, two kids and then to Mom & Dad? Where could I seek help? Would they accept help? Would I? I mean this was MY DADDY!!
Family and Friends are a must in any such case, but professional help and support who deal with these things on a daily basis is also a must.
I hope in some way this has touched your heart, to either be that family member, friend, or source to assist those that have been affected by cancer or any other devastating disease.
If you are need of more information, please reach out to:
CANCER SERVICES NETWORK | 1218 NORTH 4th, SUITE 213 | ABILENE, TX 79601 | 325-672-0040
Cancer Services Network’s mission is to provide help and hope to local cancer patients, cancer, their families and caregivers through direct financial, emotional, spiritual, and social programs and services.